


It's too Late to Love me

by Markiplier_Egos



Series: Love Me [2]
Category: Markiplier Egos, Video Blogging RPF, Who Killed Markiplier
Genre: Angst, Greatest Showman- Tightrope, M/M, So much angst, Spoilers for WKM, era appropriate homophobia, song!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markiplier_Egos/pseuds/Markiplier_Egos
Summary: Dark never did like the memories he possessed.





	It's too Late to Love me

Dark sat at his piano, fingers lightly brushing the keys as his mind wandered thousands of miles away, remembering a time when his face was his and his alone. When he didn’t fuel himself on revenge and spite. Before becoming an ego for a man that was like his childhood friend, but wasn’t. Before he had become a demonic entity. Before she married Mark before he was elected mayor. When life still made some amount of sense, held some spark of happiness. His fingers stilled on the keys for a second before he allowed his eyes to fall shut. Fingers gilded lightly as he allowed his mind to draw forth images that both of his souls longed for. **  
**

**“Some people long for a life that is simple and planned**

**Tied with a ribbon,** ” The words were soft and familiar, a tune he had sung to a man once, in another life. Memories of a smiling face formed in his mind’s eye, laughter filled eyes and that bushy brown mustache. Maybe he had wished for that, but he was smart enough not to hope for it.

**“Some people won’t sail the sea ‘cause they’re safer on land**

**To follow what’s written,”** That’s what held them back when they had a chance, the rules of then and the precautions they were forced to take to make sure they survived.

**“But I’d follow you to the great unknown**

**Off to a world we call our own**

**Hand in my hand and we promised to never let go,”** Only he had, the memory of their final dance in the garden the night he had been elected haunted him. He shouldn’t have let go, should have remained in their dance. If he had he might still be Damien instead of fragments inside Dark.

**“We’re walking the tightrope**

**High in the sky,”**  Dark remembered when he finally confessed to the then Lieutenant Colonel feeling like he was on top of the world before he was crushed under real-life, wide-eyed panic feeling both of them when they found out what happened to their type of people outside of the garden walls.

**“We can see the whole world down below**

**We’re walking the tightrope,”** He tried to rationalize the split in his head, no matter what his heart said. He tried to convince himself that his heart hadn’t shattered when he learned of his love running off with his sister.  

“ **Never sure, never know how far we could fall**

 **But it’s all an adventure,”** Seeing William the night of the poker party had been a surprise that sent a bolt through his heart even if he tried to hide it, staying at his college friend’s side as Amy cheered him on as he downed more and more liquor.

**“That comes with a breathtaking view**

**Walking the tightrope,”**  He stood out on the patio for over an hour after he took Amy up to her room, hoping, wishing that William would meet him as they always used to do at these sort of parties, it was nearly three by the time he pulled himself away, laughing at his own foolish dreams.

 **“With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,”**  His panic had been unrivaled as the horror had started the next morning had been tripled as the Colonel had acted unconcerned. He didn’t want to believe it, hoping he had underestimated the feud the pair had had over Celine. After all, William couldn’t have… He really shouldn’t have bet his life on the man’s innocence.

 **“With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,”**  If he had known what Dark knew now, maybe he wouldn’t have wasted so many tears on the man, maybe he would have left him alone to die over and over in that house alone. Maybe….

 **“With you,”** Maybe his William would still be William.

**“Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between**

**Desert and ocean,”**  The memories shifted from his to her’s. She remembered the nights awake in William’s arms, quiet words passing between them until the first rays of sunlight poured through the windows.

**“You pulled me in and together we’re lost in a dream**

**Always in motion,”** She remembered when he broke down and told her the truth she hadn’t expected. He loved her, but He loved her brother first. She remembered as he steeled himself for an attack, preparing himself to be hurt once more for the disgusting feelings he couldn’t help but feel **.**

 **And I risk it all for this life we choose,”** She knew he hadn’t expected her to start laughing, or for those laughs to slowly morph into sobs. He wasn’t expecting them to share so much in common. Her first love had been Amy, the lawyer friend Damien had made back in college. “So I risk it all just to be with you. He held her close as she explained she only married Mark after he found out of her feelings for the beautiful blonde woman. The actor had said he’d fix her, only if they were wed. She remembers cooling his anger after she admitted the sick feeling she felt every time her husband forced her into the bed, every time he raised his hand against her when she pulled away from his ‘affections’.

 **“Hand in my hand and you promised to never let go,”** They had run away that same night before the sun could break the horizon. Their dance growing easier as they escaped, together against the world, not needing to hide the parts of themselves they were taught to hate.

**“We’re walking the tightrope**

**High in the sky,”** But they weren’t allowed to be happy. They could keep the balance up. Dark tried not to think of the feelings she hid when she showed up to the manor that day to see her husband dead, her lovely DA worried and terrified. He tried not to think of how she wanted to tell Damien how elated she was that Mark was gone. He tried not to think of how hard she had screamed as the man she had grown to love had shot Amy throwing her into the same void the siblings were sucked into. He tried not to think of how the body he now had once held the beautiful Amy, trapped in the dark recesses of the mirror world to stop her from feeling the pain of a body that was too full of broken jagged soul shards already.

**“We can see the whole world down below**

**We’re walking the tightrope,”** His words faltered as the images shifted again, the bushy brown mustache changing to pink, clothes growing brighter. Wil’s companion flickering until he appeared looking too much like Damien, but not. Damien never let his hair fall into a fluffy mess like that, never wore square glasses.

**“Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?**

**Well, it’s all an adventure,” He**  tried to block out the new pair as they fluttered around his mind. Flirting more shamelessly then Damien and William were ever allowed to be, smiling at each other as they worked around the studio they shared. Their adventure going where Damien could never take the colonel.

**“That comes with a breathtaking view**

**Walking the tightrope,”** The demon tried not to think of the shy glances Wil had sent the other, not see the same song and dance that he had once been a part of. To not see the pair dance in the greenhouse as he once had through the lavish gardens of the manor that had been his second home, and his downfall, filled with laughter and silliness that the mayor and colonel were never allowed to share. That he never allowed them to share, too afraid.

 **“With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,”**  The new man was getting bolder, light touches lasting longer, playful comments becoming more forward, longing looks burning brighter.

 **“With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,” H** e could see Wil’s pain growing as he tried to resist, feel the ache in the reporter’s chest as if it was his own.

 **“With you,”**  Dark tried not to think of how the one man he loved might be out of his reach.

 **“With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,”**  Dark tried not to think about how Amy in this world was happy with the man that looked like her warden.

 **“With you, ooh-ooh-ooh,”**   Dark just wanted….

 **“With you”**  Dark just needed to…

“I haven’t heard you sing like that in years, old chap,”

He whipped around to see Wilford standing in the doorway, hands on his hips.

“Will…” He breathed, aura crackling bright blue as he fought to reign in his emotions. Wilford’s eyes were bright and glassy, sharing the memories of long ago.

“You know why I’m here,” Wilford breathed out shattering the silence around them as he moved forward to sit down on the bench next to Dark.

“Trimmer,” Dark said lightly, earning a slight nod, “You care for him,”

“I do,” Wilford answered even it hadn’t been a question.

“Then why talk to me on this?”

There was a long beat of silence. They both knew exactly why Wilford was telling him this, why he felt the need to be here, neither man looking at the other.

“I need to know…” Wilford finally said, breath shaking as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. Dark finally looked over at him, pained stare meeting pained stare, “I need to know if there’s still a chance between us, because if not… I can’t..” he stopped for a second as his voice broke, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

“Wil,” Dark breathes but didn’t dare move. The pink haired man shook his head.

“I can’t chase after a pipe dream again, Damien. Not again, I just can’t…”

Dark’s form broke, aura flaring blue behind him. The souls within him screaming louder than ever causing the ringing that always surrounded him to grow louder.

“I’m not Damien, anymore,” He bit out, “Just as you’re no longer William,”

“That’s not an answer, Dark,”

He knew it wasn’t, but he didn’t want to face this. He never wanted to face this.

“The souls that make me up were shattered within the manor that night, William,” He said flatly, William looked up at his eyes wide. Not surprising, considering Dark never talked about exactly what happened with Celine, Damien, and Amy during the ten hours he had stared at the DA’s corpse.

He didn’t let Will speak, knowing if he was interrupted he probably flee, “Damian and Celine shattered and were forced into the broken body of the DA, of sweet innocent Amy. I am what’s left of them after we forced Amy’s soul out, leaving her to rot in a mirror instead of subject her to the pain and suffering we face from being forced to bind together.  Not to mention the demonic entity that binds the shards together in something that only vaguely appears human anymore. That is what I am Will. That’s the thing you’re currently talking to,”

“What does that mean for us then Dark?”

Dark opened his eyes, shoulders slumping as he turned to look at Wilford. The man was pale eyes glazed as he fought against his own memories.

“I’m only made up of the worst of Damien and Celine, the parts the Demon decided were dark and twisted enough to be useful,” His voice was breaking worse now, sounding more layered, “Celine’s manipulative nature, Damien’s cunning ambition thoughts, both of their silver tongues, all of their pain and suffering,”

“Did that pain involve me?” Wilford’s voice was clearer then it had been in a long time.

“Form Damien,” Was the short response, “It didn’t bring any of the emotions I would need to further a relationship with you or anyone else for that matter,”

“What do you mean by that?” Wil asked quietly. Dark slammed his fists down on the piano keys with a large screech, standing body trembling as his aura expanded withering like a mass of snakes.

“I can’t feel positive emotions anymore William!” He screamed, wanting the man to understand, “I can’t feel affection, I can’t feel happiness, I can’t feel joy, I can’t feel content, and I can’t feel  **love**!”  Dark bite his tongue before he could continue. Wil didn’t need to know the feelings he could feel, the toxic replacements to real love. Celine’s possessive nature telling Dark to reach out and claim William, Damian’s jealousy making Dark want to break Bim so that William had to stay with them, Damien’s resentment for others being able to freely show how they cared for others turning on any happy couple, much less the one that was taking his love away, Celine being unable to forgive the world for what she went through wanting others to face the same torment, The addiction left over from both souls for William’s touch, for his smile, the laughter that filled his eyes. No, Dark still had just enough humanity left to stop from telling Wilford of how truly twisted the two people he loved more than anything in the world had become.

His form was cracking and breaking apart, probably not even looking human anymore, for all he knew his colonel couldn’t even hear his words anymore, “I remember the love Damien felt for you since he was a child, I can almost taste the love Celine grew to have for you, but it’s not mine. I can’t experience it myself!  **I can’t love you, William**!”

Both of them didn’t move, the only sound filling the office was Dark’s persistent ring and his heavy breathing as he forced himself back together, pressed against the far wall. He tried to pretend he couldn’t see the tears traveling down Will’s face.

Dark forced himself to take a steadying breath before striding back towards Wil, wrapping the man in a tight hug, wishing he could feel the same way he had before.

“Damien and Celine loved you so much Wil,” Dark breathed, “We don’t want you to wait for something that can’t happen,”

Wilford let out a bitter laugh, wrapping Dark in his own embrace, “I happen to remember both of you Kim siblings saying something similar for your first loves,”

Dark’s laugh in response was just as hollow, remembering. Slowly he pulled back, resting a cold hand on Wil’s cheek.

“Be happy with Bim, William,” He told the man softly, “Happier than I ever allowed us to be,”

Wilford wasn’t even trying to stop the tears anymore as he leaned into the grey hand of his old lovers, “Only if you allow me to do something,” He practically begged, “For old times sake?”

Dark didn’t have to ask what he meant, instead leaning in and placing a kiss on the reporter’s lips, trying to put as much of his old emotions in it that he could manage.

Too soon did they part, resting their foreheads together.

“I will always love you,” Wilford told him, “Both of you, and who you became.”

Dark forced himself away, “Goodbye William,”

Wilford sent him a watery smile before disappearing out of the door, no doubt heading to Bim’s room.

Dark’s knees gave out under him as he let his heart shatter as much as his form did, his own twisted emotions demanding he force Wilford back here, to use him until there was nothing left to break, to kill BIm before Wil got to his room, to destroy any evidence that Wil was anything less than his.

 _Not tonight_ , the last speck of humanity within him said, but he couldn’t help wonder how long that mantra would hold. He wondered how long until that tightrope act ended just the same as the ones in all of his lives ended, with him freefalling towards the hard unforgiving earth.


End file.
